Dear Ben Franklin,
I really don't like how smug you are.  Fine, you have a lot of accomplishments.  Fine, you have some good things to say.
But honestly, you keep trying to be offhand about your achievements, making you just sound plain smirky and smug and smarmy.  The last one probably isn't true, but I was going for some alliteration.

On page 92, you keep talking about how your stove heats a house and saves fuel.  This is dandy.  It is swell, I am happy for you.
But to be so offhand about that invention, going as far as to say "I should have mentioned this before..."  makes it sound like you're trying to brag without directly saying "I'm proud of this."
You know how I know you're doing this?  Because then you spend the rest of page 92 (which is just one of many offending pages buddy!) talking about how great everyone else thought your invention was.

Ben, you did do a lot for society.  I'm not denying that.  But why do you seek validation from us?  Why can't you just be proud of yourself without fishing for compliments?

I don't know if we can have a good relationship if it's full of one-sided adoration.  I don't want to lose you Ben, but we can't go on like this.

Love,
Beth
P.S. I'm pretty sure that you have syphilis.  That's really gross.  Have you told the wife that you so blatantly cheated on?  Also, this is incredibly amusing since one of your virtues is chastity.  :)